Miserable

Today is such a boring day,but of course for me everyday is a boring day after the break up.Stuck at home nothing to do,make me cant stop thinking about him.The third day of our break up,as usual,i'm stuck at home ironing shirts,i keep thinking about him until i dont realise that actually my hand already touch the hot iron-.-Such a clumsy people.At that moment,i feel like message him telling him,but then only i realise that,i'm not he who anymore.I just hold my hand and bare the pain in my heart and on my hand alone.I quickly run to my room and lock myself inside ad start to cry.How much i wish you were there beside me.But i know all those thing is impossible and is not going to happen anymore.I also dont know how many times i cried for this.Every night i will cry myself to sleep,when the next morning i wake up,think of you,and my tears will start forming in my eyes again.Really really feel so miserable,even when i'm at work,the "Kak" ask me where's my bf,i just can hold back my tears and reply "we break already".When i'm working that time i'm really tire of putting a fake smile on my face,i just feel like squad down and cried out loud,cried out everything that's kept in my heart.But no matter how much or how many times i cried my tears wont come to an end,because my heart told me that this time i'm seriously in love with you.Now no matter what i say or what i do is no use anymore,since you already made up your mind,i'm seriously seriously seriously going to let you go.